jerk any man that will tell a man he loves her know he will probably propose to someone else is a complete jerk IMO. Just wrong.
The I love you came out of his mouth it was not edited. Andy himself admitted he said it. If it was edited it was probably edited to make it look less than what it was.
If lexicographers had re-arranged things so that "jerk" is a fitting appellation for a caring, focused, determined over-achiever who is determined to give his best to everything he touches, who is fired by the determination to make the world a better place, then I'd say Andy is one and "may his tribe increase." Since that is not the case, and jerk is still a negative, derogative term, in no way does it describe Andy. A jerk does not affirm the personality of the women with whom he interacts. He does not, like Andy did, assure each woman he has to discard that though she lacks what he seeks, she can and should look forward to finding her soulmate. As Alexis said early in the show, Andy's one failing is that he is too caring, because he seeks to make every one feel good about herself. Sometimes such folk become overwhelmed and get submerged by stronger personalities. Andy avoided that pitfall. He did not surrender his goal even as he sought to deliver what ABC wanted. He evaluated the situation and considered the fallout a small price to pay for Tessa, the gem the show enabled him to get. Even viewed through the filter of Fleiss and Co.'s creative, injudicious editing, Andy is NOT a jerk.
In the words of Chris Harrison, "He is so good that he p..sses me off." Someone who possess all the failings you have outlined would not merit that description, nor could he have accomplished all that Andy has done. He does not flaunt his sexuality, but he is very comfortable with who he is and with good reason.