5/1/07
If you like Bevin or you are easily offended, then do us both a favor and don't read this blog!
I honestly think that Bevin could not get on my nerves more than she did last week. Boy did she fool me! She got on my nerves so much that I wanted to tell her, Bevin here is a short pier, why don't you go take a long, long walk.
The first thing we have all of the girls getting to go out on Andy's borrowed yacht. He spends quality time with the brunettes. Then he goes to hang out with the blonds and Bevin asks him if he wants to go kayacking. The other two are miffed to say the least. Stephanie is complaing "Oh great another Bevin and Andy date" Bevin says off camera, it is not my fault he wants to spend all of his time with me, I ask him and he says yes. Bevin, he is a nice guy. He won't say no. With other girls looking on she proceeds to straddle him and lick the food out of his teeth.
Then they are back at the house, a date box arrives. Stephanie W is going on a one on one. Bevin whines to the camera. I have never gotten a one on one and I never get to spend time with Andy. I won't get to tell him about my divorce. Ummm Bevin perhaps you could have told him one of the many times you had straddled him and began dry humping?
While Stephanie is on her one on one, Bevin corners Amber and starts to tell him how she is all wrong for him. She is so young and immature. Amber begs to differ. Bevin says she wasn't ready to settle down at 23. Well then why the heck did you get married at 19?
Tessa is getting ready to go on her princess date and Bevin is whining. Wow what a shocker! Repeat with me, Bevin's mantra: I never get one on one time with Andy. After Tessa leaves, Bevin says she will freak if Andy picks Tessa over her. Translation, Andy if you have a pet and you send Bevin home, hide your pet!
If Andy picks Tessa, they will have a fairy tale like Trista and Ryan. If Andy picks Bevin, he will soon find out that she is a whiny sniveling brat and the engagement will be off. Andy pick Tessa!
4/23/07
Why in the world would Stepanie T and Kate think that Andy wants a troublemaker? No man wants to be married to a gossip. The objective that they set out to accomplish, backfired. They wanted to make Amber look like a nasty backstabbing H o. They made her look like a victim. Which she was a victim of vindictive yentas. Oh well, let this be a lesson to you, don't be a troublemaker or gossip.
4/17/07
On a seperate note. Is it just me or does the orchestra from Dancing With the Stars, turn the hottest music into elevator muzaq?
I read in an article that Alexis likes Bevin. So maybe she is not Psycho #2 like I thought. She also made friends with Stephanie W., Peyton and Erin. I wonder why she didn't bond with Stephanie T? Just kidding!!!!
The beginning of the show starts. The girls are being rudely woken up by a drill instructor. Boot Camp, I wouldn't survive it. Wow all the girls look like me, without hair and makeup. "I just exercised on one date, I am not here to exercise" said Erin. That is how I would feel. So Bevin starts running around and injures herself somehow. Dr. Andy to the rescue. He would have to be a total jerk, if he didn't give her the boot camp rose. I thought the injury was all for show, turns out it is real.
Stephanie T., Stephanie W., Tina, Nicole, and Amber go on the mud spa date. Stephanie T is so obnoxious, she is just so sure of herself it is sickening. Tina bemoans the fact that other girls are putting their hands all over the man she is supposed to marry. Honey last time I checked, you were not the one. In fact I believe you go home next week? So Stephanie W. gets the quality time and Stephanie T. looks like a popped balloon. If ever there was a balloon I would enjoy popping, just kidding.
Kate, Danielle, Erin and Amanda go on the race car dates. I hope alcohol will not be a factor in this date. Erin says that she prefers the shooting range. Ok she is now my dad's favorite and he is not even watching. Danielle once again starts talking about her dead boyfriend. (eye roll) I know it is hard to get over the death of a beloved, but you don't have to mention it every show. Dating 101, do not talk fondly of past boyfriends, even if they are dead. I hope that Andy does not pick her, because he will have a hard time living up to this guys memory. And believe me I know this when I say, a dead beloved never did anything wrong. Erin gets the quality time and Kate is not happy.
"Two women compete for one rose, One stays the other goes." How poetic, I have tears in my eyes. The writers at ABC are so brilliant! NOT! Peyton and Tessa go on the two on one date. I like them both, I don't want either to have to go home. Kate, Nicole and Bevin all sit around and talk about who is coming back to the house. They say Peyton, so that means Tessa gets the rose. So they have a nice date. Wow! They sure drained that bottle of wine. So it is rose time. Andy is either crying or it is so cold that his nose is running and it is stopped up. Tessa gets the rose. It is really sad to see Peyton standing on the deck of the ship 'all by herself' I say all by herself, she really has an ABC camera crew with her. So Tessa and Andy Kiss, longer and more passionatly than he kissed Stephanie T. Andy said that Tessa is wife material. On a confidential note to Tessa, that means that ABC has already purchased your plane ticket, very shortly you are going home.
The cocktail party. Tessa is beginning to feel a little possesive of Andy. He talks to Stephanie T. and Stephanie W. he notes that except for their name. Each one is very different. Well duh, Andy, Stephanie W. is sweet and Stephanie T is not. Andy wonders if Stephanie T, is being real with him. Well duh Andy, to her it is a game, she is in it to win it! The grand prize is what she wants. I think Andy really likes Bevin, he went to her. She didn't have to come to him. Tina asks Andy what his faults are. At least she didn't launch into her I am not as pretty as the other girls, speech. Either that or the camera person already knows the whole speech by heart and decided to film something else.
So it is rose time. Their is only one rose left? Must be the magic shrooms, but I saw two. Just kidding I don't eat magic shrooms! The girls who got the rose. Nicole, Amber, Stephanie W., Tina, Stephanie T. (groan) Danielle I. Bevin, Tessa and Kate.
Cut to a blooper reel of Kate trying to open a bottle of champagne in her night gown. Which tells me it is early in the morning. That is how I came up with the title, It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere. As much drinking as they do, they should make that the title of the show.
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